vacation time

it's officially my vacation time.

our students are having their exams next week. im done with my speaking test this week. i have submitted the students' grades.

so how do i start my vacation? let's see... yeah, i'll start by cleaning up my clattered apartment. this alone will could take a week. seriously. it's not like my apartment is big. it's just so clattered that i dont anymore know where some of my stuffs are. then listen to my cd collection. wait, i can actually do both at the same time...

and maybe party everynight, until i get to meet somebody that i'd eventually marry! hahaha. ok, im not that desperate... or maybe i am. yeah, i think i am. ^^

cruel summer

it's a freaking cruel summer! it's hot. and humid. and extravagant.

has it ever occured to you that summer can be a lot more extravagant than christmas season? that you get to spend more during summer than what they call christmas and new year holidays?... this is just my opinion. and i have my reasons. ask me why...

if you dont have a car, you would want to take airconditioned buses and vans, or taxi even, rather than taking ordinary buses even if it's only a short distance trip. you wouldnt want to walk even if it's only half a kilometer away... you'd rather take a motorcycle taxi or something. in turn, you lose a chance to get a little exercise.

you tend to eat and drink a lot more than usual. and while water is really healthy, cheaper, and refreshing enough, when you're hot and perspiring and feeling exhausted, you would crave for those flavored, sweetend, more expensive drink. and because you burn calories a lot, excrete a lot of metabolites and ions through your sweat glands, you get hungry more often.

and because you sweat a lot, you would need to change clothes more often and thus spending more money with your laundry.

not to mention... your electric and water bills shoot up higher than your blood pressure. the reasons, of course, are obvious.

you think you could save some of your hard earned bucks if you cool down yourself in a nearby mall because the aircondition is free. dont be fooled by that. think again! when you smell the aroma of different foods escaping from the various restaurants and coffee shops all across the mall, that your mouth starts to drool, and your taste buds start to crave... there would be no other way but to indulge.

im now actually thinking on how i may earn more this summer.
seriously, summer is cruel.

but for what it's worth, summer is fun. so go ahead. enjoy your summer time...

here comes the sun

im happy, im feeling glad
i got sunshine in my bag
im useless but not for long
the future is coming on…

"clint eastwood"
gorillaz


today is the day that the dark and twisted me becomes bright and sizzling me. seriously.

now that classes are almost over, i could have time to sit down and do a little planning. it’s kinda difficult to concentrate on planning your next move if you are loaded with so many things, like a job that drives you nuts, long distance travelling to work everyday that zaps your energy, some people that are close to you but sometimes give you headaches... you know, stuffs like that.

kinda becoming more optimistic and less apathetic recently. i’m learning to trust in faith that things will work out fine in the process.

so let’s just wait and see what’s instored for the next few months…

ok, that's it... i got a really powerful cd that i bought yesterday, full of high-energy tracks… relient k’s “five score and seven years ago.” i wonder why i haven’t bought it when it was newly released here. ok, so i bought as a used cd. at least it's much cheaper than the new one i saw at central world plaza couple of months ago. been listening to it since last night. so excuse me, im just gonna slam dance to it for a while…^^

ultraelectromagnetic hot!

hot season comes early in this part of the globe...

they say that there are only two seasons in thailand... hot. and very hot!

that's kind of a joke but point taken.

sure thailand has its share of cool weather, albiet very briefly. during few weeks of december last year and a couple of weeks in january this year, thailand had one of its coolest moment, i even wore long sleeved shirt to bed. and there are also seasonal rains.

but even before january ended, the tempearture already started to get warm. then warmer. then from warm to hot. and now... it's uncomfortably hot. today is so far the hottest... so hot that by around 3 pm i started to get headaches. i wonder what the temperature today is. but it doesnt matter. my indian friend told me once that the temperature in india is higher than in bangkok. but the sensation of the heat is much stronger here than in his country. im not sure how true was that but i guess he might be right. the temperature in my country is almost the same here. but it feels like it's hotter here than where i came from.

and it's only february. imagine when march and april hit the calendar...

losing face, losing friends

there is part of the thai culture about losing one's face... and thus, thai people are one of the most non-confrontational people in the planet. of course, a person of any culture would have a degree of losing his face once challenged by others with some ugly truth about himself. most prevalent amongst us, asians. but this losing face thing is very much incorporated in thai personality. a thai's sesitivity to offense is much like his susceptibility to colds.

is this a bad thing? maybe not... in cross-cultural studies, it's not wrong, it's just different.

but coming from a culture where "honesty is the best policy, you are as rude as a monkey..." it gets a little difficult to adjust. i came from a culture where speaking the truth (if delivered in humility and love) makes a relationship (of any kind) stronger and deeper. [ok, sometimes it also results to fighting!] but we generally believe that other people are our mirror. they see in us what we dont see in ourselves. thus, it is also somehow our responsibility to check on each other for us to learn more about our own personality and behavior. for our own growth... for keeping a good friendship...

therefore i often find myself caught in the middle (among my thai peers). to tell or not to tell. if the acquiantanceship is shallow, i might just let it go. but if the friendship has been long enough to be deep and special, my other culture compels me to speak up. but then gain, if the friendship has been long enough, the more you need to count the cost. is it worth it? shall i just let it go?

sometimes i succeed. sometimes i fail. but when you lose a good friendship, then it could indeed be a significant failure.

just recently my thai friend and i had a little misunderstanding. nothing big. but when i told him how he treated me like crap one time, he got offended in return. weird huh? maybe just his defense mechanism. we all have that. an act to counter our embarassment. it could also be pride, not to admit you're wrong. but real men know how to admit faults. anyway, i told him it's no big deal... just letting him realize how it felt to be treated like crap by somebody that you consider to be a friend.

...............................................
another incident:

i once text messaged a thai friend of mine, telling him that i was offended by his joke about me. we have been friends for 2 years then [almost 3 years now]. i helped him with his english when he was aplying for a job in an international company. he got the job. i let him squat in my apartment for couple of months until he got his own. [he used to live with another friend before that]. i was confident that he wouldnt mind me telling him of his offense. but he didnt reply back. no apologies either. i let it go. silence from both camps. after a few weeks he called. i answered. he talked about a totally different matter. no mention about the text messages. still no apologies. no big deal. im just glad he finally called. after all, he is my closest friends among my thai friends. and we sometimes call each other brother...

not a big fan of valentine

im not really a big fan of valentine. even with my previous relationships. seriously...

valentine is just a commercial fair, when flowers, especially roses get extra expensive. you see people walking around holding flowers and some other cutie gift items. and love becomes a famous topic although more than half of the human race dont really understand what true love really is...

ok now you think im just a bitter, anti-social, unromantic, loveless, pathetic creature. not quite...

for me, valentine is an everyday affair. because celebration of love for the one you cherish should be a continuing process, not just few times a year. not just on february 14. love is the attitude of the heart, not just some feeling. love is a commitment, not just some outburst of emotion (or outburst of hormones!).

for so many of us, we confuse and equate love with infatuation. true love grows deeper and more intimate with passing time. infatuation fades faster than how it first appeared. of course, some of us get into a relationship just for the fun of it. and very often, we eventually just end up hurting ourselves... or hurting others. now that's pathetic.

anyhow, happy valentine to all.... whatever.

....................................

Here's what true love really is...

"Love is patient. Love is kind...
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud...
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered...
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth...
It always protects... always trusts... always hopes... always preserves."

1 Corinthians 13

having a good ride

it has been a good ride lately.

i had a really long weekend, like, 4 days... our school had a field trip at safari world. i didnt go. i chosed not to go although ive never been there. to be at home was so much better. there will always be a chance to go there.

then came saturday and sunday. and monday was a thai buddhist holiday. so four days of long weekend. although i didnt get to really go anywhere interesting, being at home, catching up with my friends through the internet, did some cleaning up, watched dvd, and most of all, got to sleep like a baby was enough to afford myself some rest and got my sanity back.

so im pretty zen right now. and it's a good thing... ^^

temporary escape

life has been a little tough, and rough, and chaotic. i've hoping for some escape, some place where i can unwind and regain whatever sanity in me is left. to let all my crap travel to oblivion, even for just a moment each day. or some way to unrough and untough and uncomplicate my daily existence...

then i found it. my temporary escape... and it's called "heroes," the tv series. of course it can be any other interesting tv series...

but at the moment, i was able to get hold of used original copy of the first season. (there are a couple of shops that i know that sells used and promotional copies of cds and dvds.) i saw packs of "heroes" season 1 and 2 but when i went back, the season 2 was already sold.

i've seen both seasons before, borrowed from a friend. now i got my own copy and watching it over again. i never realized how much of the stories and how many of the scenes have i already forgotten. and im still enjoying every moment of it.

that's one good thing about series. it continues. so while waiting for the release of the new season, i can just watch the previous episodes over again. it makes me even more excited for the new episodes coming...

or maybe that's just me. but at least i have an inexpensive way of relaxing and unwinding. i dont have to go out, just like what i used to do...

mistaken

well i was mistaken.

i was not able to join the pizza celebration last friday. i was just very very exhausted. i went home, took a dose of "grey's anatomy" rerun (from my dvd collection), took a pill and dozed off... i was hoping to sleep long hours.

unfortunately my biological clock was so used to waking up early so i didnt get the long sleep that i so desperately longed for. so early saturday moring, i went out to visit a friend who was robbed just two houses away from where she lives. it was 8pm, she was on her way home. sad... she's a walking closet so her passport, atm cards, journal diary, two cell phones were gone. gone with the wind... and did i mention she was hit twice because she fought back?

anyway, after that i went to a mall to have lunch. then i saw this nice looking pair of sketchers shoes. so i bought them. ive always wanted them but couldnt spare the bucks to buy 'em. it was not intended. but it was on sale... like 40% discounted. it was my chance to have a new pair of sketchers. and i need them anyway. or maybe i dont. yeah, whatever... still, im happy about buying them. they're semi casual. looks good on jeans but can also wear them to work. and i wore them to work today. yes, a sunday morning job. but an easy one, not like my regular weekday job. and one more sunday and the 10-sunday course is finished. ^^