and so this is christmas... what have you done?

ah... it's christmas eve. does it ever feel like christmas? not here. not where i live. this is a largely buddhist country, and unless one goes to malls with towering christmas trees, colourful lights, and christmas carols playing softly in the background, one wouldnt really feel that it's even christmas... christmas isnt even a holiday here. for the past years, i had always worked on christmas eve and christmas day. somehow i got used to it...

not this year. im not working. so i have time to be a little nostalgic, or whatever. hence the blog.


i remember colours associated with christmas.

white christmas. this only happens in the western hemisphere, where there's snow and pine trees. and this year, blizzard. when i was young i have often dreamed of white christmas. i had relatives in the united states who would always send us pictures of them in snow, covered in coats and thick jackets. i almost reached that dream as the world we live in was getting smaller. i, just like most of my friends, applied for a job in the US after we passed our physical therapy board exams. but by my own choice, i preferred to move to thailand. now im wondering if i ever made the right choice.

then there's blue christmas. blue, as far as feelings are concerned, is usually associated with aloneness and loneliness. but what the hey... it's christmas. it's supposed to be a time of glad tidings and joyous celebration. so suck it up and deal with your dark feelings later. after making new year's resolution and everything.

black christmas... unless you are a fan of horror movies, you probably havent heard of such. which, by the way, isnt really scary. morbid, but lame. i have dvd of the movie, in case you're feeling dark and twisty this season and want to indulge in some dark and gorry christmas movie.

red christmas.. red dawn, red zone, red christmas... is there such a a thing (as red christmas)? not that i've heard of. at least not in a song. or a movie. but red has been very symbolic of christmas. it could be because that fat, bearded old man has falsely become one of the most important christmas icon. but it's not really that harmful (i guess) because soon enough kids grow up and get to know better.

so... yeah. for some people christmas can be everyday. shiny, shiny people overflowing with inner joy and outward generosity. people who dont need christmas to warm their hearts and find reason to give gifts and reunite with families. christmas is everyday.

but for some of us, we take advantage of this time. to forget our worries and darkness and join the crowd with merry-making and gift giving and remembering families.

and for some people and culture, christmas is celebrated as a cultural thing (a culture adopted from the west or from the christian believers) and celebrate it as a cultural and not a religious festival.

no matter how you celebrate christmas, may it bring us into awareness why it is being celebrated all around the world.

merry christmas to all...

gratitude is not just an attitude... it's an art form

i was watching the first season of grey's anatomy [for the nth time, i just put in it while doing something else] the other day and came this thanksgiving episode... meredith went to the hospital on thanksgiving while izzie stayed home preparing dinner. turkey and stuff. [well i dont have to mention what the other doctors were doing. do i?].
"not a big fan of thanksgiving?" bailey asked meredith.

"there's just not much to be thankful of," meredith replied.

then the other day, i came across an old blog of one of the bloggers i follow which he titled "in which i am thankful" which he noted as some sort of a post-thanksgiving blog. later on he diverted his article to what he is thankful not to have... here are two examples:

"i'm thankful that i no longer have a job in retail that requires me to be to work really super early in the morning the day after i eat way too much of a food that makes me exceedingly sleepy..."

and

"i'm thankful that i don't have the gene that makes me turn into a werewolf. that would really cramp my style. i'm sure there would be times where being able to change into a wolf would be cool, but i really just don't like the taste of kibble."

then again, the other day, an old friend of mine woke me up really early with a phone call (ok not so early, it was just that i slept very late that night) which really surprised me because it was charlie, a friend that i havent heard from for about 12 years. according to him, the last thing he heard about me was i was teaching in another university in my area. [in which i was actually a phsyical therapy clinical coordinator]. we talked for more than an hour until his phone battery ran down. the call was from new york... some friends you lose forever... some friends you lose and find again... facebook, man! facebook...

then there was this other day when i went around a department store while waiting for my frends to come. as year is ending, sale items flock most department stores in most cities and town around the planet. i wish i could at least buy that comfy sketchers sneakers which was on sale. 30% off. but im in a transition right now and spending on items on sale is out of the budget. i was learning to prioritize. thank God for transitions...

how are these random stories related? i dunno, you tell me...

except that these the other day events caused me to discover things that i normally overlook as blessings... daily miracles of life, so ordinary... so basic... that i tend to miss to be thankful of. that gratitude goes far beyond our families, and friends, and good job, and the air we breathe. as important as they are, we can actually be grateful about so many things everyday if we take time to ponder on these little things. it's an attitutde. but it's also an art form. an art form of discovering. and art form of discovering the small details of of our lives that makes us more grateful than we already are.

and that in the midst of the transition i am facing, there many small things to be thankful of... so many that i dont have to get into details... except to mention that all these become possible by the grace of God.


so... what are little things that you are grateful of?

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[pictures stolen from flickr.com... sorry]